Tryhard

Unlearning and unbandaging.

8”x10” gelatin silver print, 2021

This short series of personal photographs touches on my encounters with PCOS, identity crisis, sexual abuse, and domestic abuse.

I had never done shadow work photography prior to making this series, and had always made easily digestible “surface level” art. I didn’t know how to make such abstract experiences tangible because I could hardly understand them myself, and because they were “taboo” and too tender to touch upon publicly.

I’ve always been a TRYHARD.

Always trying to make pictures that appeal to the masses.

Always trying to mask my tormented body’s PCOS symptoms.

Always trying to make my body and personality smaller.

Always trying on new identities to feel less hollow.

Always trying to give pieces of myself away to make everyone else whole.

Always trying to nurture my inner child while simutaneously ignoring what she went through.

But now, finally, trying hard to explore repressed experiences and emotions.